I weighed myself today! I am so both disgusted and very disappointed at myself! Sometime at the end of last year, I had made a commitment to myself to take back my healthy active life and go back to best version of myself (or at least what I think is the best version of myself). I had a good start! I even started sharing my activity with other people, even competing against them and whatnot. I had a particular friend that although we weren’t competing, she would check on me throughout the day sometimes and send me messages like, “why haven’t you closed those rings yet?”, what are you gonna do to close those rings?”. That kept me motivated to stay active and workout.
Also I started to drink more water and less beer. Minding more what I was eating. I was taking care of myself. Then life changed, we had a new baby. So that changed the routine a little bit. My workout routine changed too and it was harder to stick with it.
Eventually I figured a way to get back into it and for a while, at the beginning of the year I started to do good. But in the past month or so, I am not sure what happened but it’s like I’ve lost all motivation to stay active, to workout, to drink more water and less beer. I am not sure if the things going on at work have something to do with it or not but I feel less and less motivated to stay focused on my commitment.
Last time I had a talk with my friend Gingee about my struggles in trying to stay healthy, she yell at me (it was a text but I could tell she was yelling at me).
Knock it off! You can do this.
Today was sort of a wake-up call. I am getting heavier and heavier. I am back at my bad habits and I’m doing very little to change that. I am at the heaviest I have ever been in my life. My ideal weight (or at least where I feel comfortable at) should be around 175 lb (79 kilos) to 180 lb (81.6 kilos) — I’m 220 lb (99.8 kilos) right now!
The things is, I know what I got to do but I can’t bring myself to do it. I keep making up excuses and very little action.
I need to knock it off and get to it!